さて、今日はWritingの授業がありましたので1つIndependent TaskのWritingをアップしてみようかと思います。ちなみにネイティブの教授により訂正されてます。ただ訂正と行っても代名詞・冠詞のミスがほとんどでした。特に冠詞は滅茶苦茶難しいですよね・・・なんで a なんだ・・・と思うことが多々あります。勉強しないとですね。
TOEFL Writing Independent Task
Direction: Read the question below. You have 30 minutes to plan, write, and revise your essay. Typically, an effective response will contain a minimum of 300 words.
Q: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
People today spend too much time on personal enjoyment — doing things they like to do — rather than doing things they should do.
I agree with this statement. These days, people seem to tend to be becoming selfish I think. They forget to do things they should do but they try only to enjoy their life. There are two reasons why I feel this way.
First, I believe the advent of the smartphone is a cause of that problem and its spread throughout the world is worsening this situation. Taking a train, you can see many smartphone-junkies. They don’t pay attention to the people and the situation around so they often tread on somebody’s toes. They should say sorry for this but they don’t because they are concentrating too much on their devices. In addition, some mothers in the train don’t care about their children. Even if they cry, their mothers just say “Be quiet” or “don’t cry.” After they have scolded their children the mothers restart playing games on the smartphone. They don’t play a maternal role at all. There may be reasons why children have started crying: they want to go to the washroom or drink something and so on. The bad and childish mothers, however, don’t care enough about them due to their addiction to smartphones. Which are more important; children or smartphones? They seem to put more emphasis on smartphones than children and to have given up the role they should play.
Second, lifestyle has been becoming individualistic rapidly in the past 20 years. The idea that individuals should respect each other seems to be common these days. This is, of course, important to live as an independent person but it doesn’t mean people don’t have to do things they should do. Ironically, I think the number of people who take this idea in the wrong way is increasing more and more in this “advanced” society. As a result, individuals act selfishly without paying attention to those around. The dark side of progress is we are forfeiting our morals and ethics. I think that people are coming to prioritize themselves over being a member of society. Certainly, there may be other reasons for a lack of morals and ethics but this problem as time goes by seems to be getting worse. We need to reconsider how we should behave as a member of society. As it stands, we are losing something and society will stop functioning. This is the second reason.
Finally, the world is becoming more prosperous. We can enjoy the advance of society. Companies produce new products for enjoyment to get more profits and we leap at them as soon as their sales start. Of course, enjoyment is necessary for life but we must not depend heavily on it. And we should do our duty and do things we have to do before we have fun. (460 Words)
多少、Writingは改善してきたでしょうか？最近はネイティブの友人とのやりとりで多くのことを学んでいます。昨日ネイティブの友人が書いたpaperを送ってもらい印刷してずーっと読んでます。ネイティブが書いたpaperをみる機会なんてそんなに無いですからね。自分と年が変わらない学生が、どんな英語を書いているのか？と知りたくてShow me~と連呼したら送ってくれました（笑） 自分のWritingに使えそうな表現が多くあるのでどんどん盗んでいきます。