久々にWritingを

 

こんばんは。今日はかるくWritingをあげます。Writingのクラスに後期も参加しています。聴講生扱いですが・・・で、TOEFLもあるということで週4−5本のペースでIndependent Taskのお題を書いています。

その中で割と良い感じに書けたというものを上げます。あ、でも最近は全体的に問いにしっかりと答えていてWell-developedだねと言われることが増えてきました。やったね!(笑)

 

Q: Some people say that the Internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think access to so much information creates problems.

I think the Internet offers a lot of informative information to people. Of course, countless information lies in the sea of the internet but I believe the advantage of the Internet totally outweigh its disadvantages.

First of all, the Internet has opened up many doors for human beings since its creation. Nowadays, we can get information we need just to tap the screen of smartphones. We can get a wide array of information whether forecast to news happened at the opposite side of the earth. It’s the dream that people have long wanted. The advent of the Internet has literally widened our world.

In addition to the above, the Internet has played an important role in the world today. In the past, it was very difficult to know what happened in long distant area but nowadays we can know what happens in the world even if it happened at the opposite side of the earth because the Internet remove barriers that limited number of people who could broadcast information to the world. Thanks to the Internet, most people can spread information and problems occurred in this world. Thus, now many people can see the world’s reality.

War, extreme poverty and diseases: These are the problem we should eliminate from our world. Now many people take steps to solve the problems. They use the Internet to disseminate what exactly happens in the world and to attract more attentions to these problems. For example, today many people create web sites as fund raisers for causes such as eradication of AIDS, and elimination of war and poverty. Without the Internet, these movements would have been impossible.

The Internet provides us with a lot of valuable information because we can participate in movements to solve serious problems and save many lives. Of course, there are many information that sometimes creates problems. But the Internet has been saving many lives and attracting world’s attention to serious problems in order to solve them. I think, therefore, people enjoy the blessing of the internet. (302 words)

 

このエッセイのミスとしては時制の選択のミスがあります。現在形にしてるけど完了形にすべきとか・・・あとは冠詞・単複のミスですね。この辺りをしっかり直して高得点をTOEFLで取れるように頑張りましょう(笑)原文を載せました。なので単語の選択とかその辺にミスがあります。書いた後1時間くらいして見直すと気がつくミスとかあるんですけどね(笑)まぁ本番でしっかりかけるように勉強するだけです。ではー

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